Lost & Found

Perhaps it's been a long time I never laugh out loud like this.
Perhaps it's been a long time I never sleep that well.
And perhaps it's been a long time I never stop thinking of someone and enjoying the moment.

Thanks to an unexpected trip that turns out to be a really fun and enjoyable memory.
And thanks to that, it makes me even persistence on my decision like no turning back.

3 more months we will call it an end. And until then, I'll be me again fully.
The Angeline who knows exactly what to do next for betterment.
The Angeline who will be ready to love unconditionally, work passionately and live every moment like the last moment.

Darling, don't give up yet...

Nothing has been easy,
and I'm sure the easy one won't be great enough.

When nothing goes right,
hold on...
The victory is awaiting in the next corner.

The world, the life, the people could turn you down,
but remember, you could only be defeated by yourself, no one else can.

If your mind your heart are nearly exploded,
remember "love"...
Your friends, your family and your loved one are always there by your side,
just a phone call away.

Cheer up, laugh out loud,
I am sure tomorrow will be a better day!

Best Wishes

Perhaps, you will never understand the meaning of "Love" to me...

That's a will power that allows me to do anything, just for you.
That's the warmest touch and hug from me, for you.
That's a kind of letting you go, to pursue your own happiness.

If that's the girl you are dreaming of,
If you with her could bring you the eternity happiness,
If she loves you back the same and willing to hold your hands forever...

Then, the let go from me is worthwhile.

You said, you can't wait to see the end of the stories for both of us after 10 years.
From your eyes, I see your confidence.
Do you know that, I never thought I could win this. Rather, I hope you are right and by that time, you already have your own family, surrounded by your kids.

Cupid has forgotten me, and I never win, not even once.
But that's okay.

Forgive me that I have to get myself out from your world the soonest possible.
I can't imagine how would I be, seeing you with your only one.
Let the time washes away our memories.
Perhaps, the only thing I wish is, someday sometime at somewhere, you could think of me out of a sudden.
That will prove my existence.

Someday, sometime, there was a girl who ever appearred in your life,
And she was fine...

Happiness is a balance of being

When satisfaction filled your heart,
when gratitude is always in your mind,
and when expectation is minimal,
that is called happiness (I guess).

When you decide to let go the unwanted,
and when you open up your heart to welcome the unexpected love,
Happiness will finally comes around (I guess).

Life is always tough,
And I certainly will not give up the faith and principal, believing that the right one will be just around the corner.
Loneliness isn't something scary, and waiting is not a disaster.
One fine day, I'll see you, someone truly mine, will come around.

A deep breath, a peaceful mind and a loving heart,
I promise myself...
Before 2017, I am gonna be only the happy girl again.

Status: 370 days memories paused

Another sleepless night...

Thinking about the past 370 days.

On 30th October 2015, two strangers met.

For the past 370 days, I fell in love, heart-broken, tried and failed.

For the past 370 days, I turned from a smiling girl to someone who forgotten the smile.

The ups and downs.

Perhaps it's time to call for a pause.

Let my mind rest, 

Let my heart clear,

Let the voice from the heart to be hear.

Perhaps it's the time to bring back the smiling Angeline.

And perhaps it's time to let go.

Baby, you dont' know

You don't know how simple to make me smile.
You don't know how easy to calm me down.
You don't know how's the feeling that trapped me all this while.

You will never know...

Trust

Trust, how well do we holding this?

A trust to the stranger.
A trust to an old friend.
A trust to someone you have been spending most of the time together.

I really want to trust everyone, but this is not rationale. The world has made human the very selfish creature.

When the world turns the little girl who always giving in everything she can to someone who has been deeply hurt, I trust no one.

I'm sorry this has been very negative, but the reality has pushed me to keep my silence and never open the heart again. So if you are lucky enough to have a bunch of trust-worthy persons, cherish them and never be like me. I hope everyone well.

小玩意

很喜欢彭羚多年以前的一首歌《小玩意》。
小时候的我只是觉得这首歌的歌曲旋律轻松舒适，很温馨的感觉。
却没能真正的了解个中含义。

如今的我，当再次被这首歌的旋律打动。。。
细细品味歌词才恍然大悟这首歌真正的意义。

所谓的小小玩意，其实就是爱的证明 -- 求婚戒。

我想，我可以理解那种感动，温暖和幸福的感觉。

在爱里，我承认我用心经营，用爱来溶化对方，感动对方。
希望在他和我相遇的往后日子里，不再孤独寂寞，只有满满的爱和幸福。
虽然这个世界往往都不尽人意。遗憾的人事物一摞摞。
虽然现实的世界让人不再全心全意相信对方。
虽然我也不知道结果会如何。
在我能及的范围内，全心的爱他。也许也只能这样。

这个小玩意是每个女人的梦想。
只是，也许，我的那一天还很遥远。
也许，它也不曾在我的生命里出现过。

但是，它绝对是心的家。=）

Undeliverable Blessing

"Hey, be good and take care. Just do your best. Good luck!"

It's just some simple words but it has became a undelivered message. I know, it is something I am no longer eligible to do it.

The confident Angeline

I always love the confident Angeline.
A 5ft 1' little girl but with the spirits that could be as high as the twin towers!
It's like nothing could bring her down, no matter who, or whatever how.

I love the confident Angeline,
who could handle with all sorts of troubles, big or small, or terrible by her own without fear and hesitate.
She always know that she can do it.

And I love the confident Angeline,
who would always be the angel for everybody, even to those who hurt her the most.
She knows, with the strongest heart, she could forgive the past.
Though it doesn't mean she will be going back to the past.

An Angeline like this,
She knows she deserves a better man,
A man she could trust him entirely,
A man who could understand her truly,
And a man who will hold her hands and walking down the life path with her without letting go.

I love the confident Angeline.
To her, today this world, is a wonderful world.

勇敢的蒲公英

要作勇敢的蒲公英，隨風飄哪裡
就算曲折依然不放棄
相信爱一定会有降临的那一天
抬頭看天空的星星，明亮而堅定
幸福一定會在我們的身边
就算那是經歷了无数的困境，却仍然深愛着不離不棄。

改编自范玮琪的[蒲公英]

不然，生命充满了无数的奇迹。
只要你相信，就算再多的困难都依然坚定不移，
奇迹一定会发生在那最适当的时候。
让心中有爱，放下不堪的过去，
勇敢的去追逐属于你，只属于你的天空。

我很好，真的。

最后一次

你从来都不知道什么时候会是最后一次。
也许昨天还好好的恋人，今天却已经成了陌路人。
也许昨天还畅谈未来，憧憬未来的美好，今天却将一切幻灭。

有些事，有些人，错过了就一辈子。
就算昨天的回忆再美好，当一切结束时将归零。

从来我都不愿和谁争抢任何的事物。
不强求，不勉强。

愿你安好。

Desire or Need?

I have been thinking it,
all the time...
What do people want?
Or precisely, do they know what they really want and need?

Desire, temptation and lust.
It's just an emotion, shapeless, tasteless and meaningless.
I have seen girls never stop dating the new guys. (Internet has made everything so easy and convenient.)
And I have seen guys never stop sleeping around with the new girls.

What happened to the world?

Yeah, you probably would told me that I'm a "little girl" who knows nothing! However, you probably also have forgotten, forgotten the real you, the purest you who are just wishing true love would happen one day soon.

Well I believe in true love, it's just not the true love that we have been taught in the movies.

Well hey you, just bring back the real you. Makes love a need, not a desire.

Believe me as you believe in happiness is real

Relationship,
between friends, colleagues, couples and family,
is one of the greatest and powerful, yet complicated and complex gift in this world.

I call it "a gift" as I see its beauty despite sometimes it has been twisted and it is the cause of the heartaches.
It somehow could be as simple as it supposes to be.
And all involves are the time, efforts and the indestructible trust.

A true friend is always reachable no matter how far or how long you have not contacted each other.
A true love is always ready to give in anything and everything just to make sure that you will be alright.
And of course the family, those who will never leave you behind and always welcome you at a place we called it home.

So hey,

I am not gonna change you, but I wanna let you to see the most beautiful thing in this world is happening right now, in front of you.
And I hope you to feel it and let the love fills up those emptiness in your heart.
All and all, I just wanna to see you smile, the happiness smile. =)

Carpe Diem • 活在当下

Carpe Diem, living the moment.

活在当下，多么的潇洒，多么的自由。
而我，不知道从什么时候开始已经变得不再那么勇敢。
当生命里在乎的事，在乎的人，渐渐地走远。
而我，连想抓住的资格都没有。
一次，两次，三次。。。
每一次都告诉自己，那是最后一次了。

也许，因为如此，曾经勇敢的心已经在淌血，慢慢的变得不再勇敢。
也许命运玩弄了我。。。
也许幸运之神遗忘了我。。。

而我，只剩下我。
安慰鼓励着受伤的心，告诉自己，活在当下就已足够。
只要那时的自己快乐着，其他已经不再重要。

Dilemma, but that's okay

At some point of life, I wonder what love is?
A companionship?
A touch that makes your heart beats faster?
Or a lot a lot of touching and sweet memories?

I am confused, with the decision to stay or leave.
Is that because I could never able to give in it all again?
Or I am just phobia of the heartache?

But why, he still makes him the first thing I am thinking of every morning?
Why am I cared so much about him?
Why the time spent with him is always a good time even though sometimes we are just doing nothing?

Someday, one day, I will make a decision,
When my heart is ready.

If this is where we meant to be...

If...
Every sunrise is meant for the sunset,
Every blossom is meant for the wither and fall,
And the relationship starts is meant for the breaks,

Then,
I would never be chasing the sunrise, amazed by the blossom, and putting my everything on a man.

Everything starts with a reason, and it ends with a reason too. Though it could be the saddest thing in the world, we have learned to accept the truth and the facts. Wipe up your tears and be ready for those that meant for an end.

If this is the one last time, I hope it is a wonderful memory that we could keep till the day when we think of each other, there will be only a smile on our face. In a week time, I am counting it down...

I like you, but...

I meet a French charming guy lately...
I am attracted by his beautiful eyes, lovely smile, and those tiny little things he concerned.
He is very detailed, caring, helpful, honest and loving.
I like to be with him.
In his arm, I find secured.

I was warned by a friend about how French tackle girls and they seem to be never serious about a relationship.
I know it's definitely not all French are the same.
Deep inside my heart, I hope he would be the different one.

Perhaps I am a girl who has lost confident about relationship. (after the terrible depression)
3 months gone, and I am starting to lose confident in him.
I am thankful for his honesty by telling me that he is not looking for a committed relationship at the moment. (though I still hope that we could slowly develop one, not now but in the future, one day...)

However,
I see it clearly that I could never meet his standards, a girlfriend standard.
I am not sexy, not fun, and definitely not strong enough to tolerate the consequences due to his charming.
Rather, I choose to stay as who I am.
The normal one, stubborn, ego, playful but quiet at the same time.

I like him.
But I choose to love myself more.
I don't want to become a cheap girl. I have my pride and I am living it for the past 20 over years.
I have my vision towards my future, and my future family. I want to become who I want to be and I definitely do not want it to be interrupted.
Though it might mean a give up on him right now.

Mr. Tea, I like you and all the time we spend together.
It's a memory between you and me that I will cherish it forever.
But for now, I really want to love myself more.
I seriously don't want to be one of your selections.
After the terrible experiences in the past, I guess, this is the best choice.
We are friends.
And nothing more than this.

Be the Hero that lies in you

When you have seen the worst, there's nothing could destroy you anymore...
The 6 months of depression could be the darkest time in my lifetime,
But it is also a remarkable step that allows me to be a stronger person as who I am right now.

I understand very well that, no one could ever love you unconditionally except your parents.
And I understand perfectly that there's no helping hands without a reason behind.

And so, I learned...

Courage, of not afraid facing the cruel world all alone.
Though it could mean forever alone, but comparing to the broken-heart, living alone could mean happier.

Courage, of letting go those who would never meant to be yours.
Stop lying yourself that you are important to someone. If you could ever feel neglected and that is it.

Courage to say NO to those who are only taking advantages and never be sincere to a friendship or a relationship.
After all, they do not worth any of your time and effort.

Courage to forgive those whoever hurt you, cheat you or betray you.
Forgiving is beautiful, but they will never gain any trust from you anymore.

Courage to facing the failures.
This is a learning process, nothing to feel ashamed and it is totally normal to be failed.


Everyone has a hero living deep inside of you.
Tomorrow, when you wake up, touch your heart, look yourself into the mirror,
you will see a smiling hero.
Put aside those miserable yesterday and live up a better today and a wonderful tomorrow.