I like you, but...

I meet a French charming guy lately...
I am attracted by his beautiful eyes, lovely smile, and those tiny little things he concerned.
He is very detailed, caring, helpful, honest and loving.
I like to be with him.
In his arm, I find secured.

I was warned by a friend about how French tackle girls and they seem to be never serious about a relationship.
I know it's definitely not all French are the same.
Deep inside my heart, I hope he would be the different one.

Perhaps I am a girl who has lost confident about relationship. (after the terrible depression)
3 months gone, and I am starting to lose confident in him.
I am thankful for his honesty by telling me that he is not looking for a committed relationship at the moment. (though I still hope that we could slowly develop one, not now but in the future, one day...)

However,
I see it clearly that I could never meet his standards, a girlfriend standard.
I am not sexy, not fun, and definitely not strong enough to tolerate the consequences due to his charming.
Rather, I choose to stay as who I am.
The normal one, stubborn, ego, playful but quiet at the same time.

I like him.
But I choose to love myself more.
I don't want to become a cheap girl. I have my pride and I am living it for the past 20 over years.
I have my vision towards my future, and my future family. I want to become who I want to be and I definitely do not want it to be interrupted.
Though it might mean a give up on him right now.

Mr. Tea, I like you and all the time we spend together.
It's a memory between you and me that I will cherish it forever.
But for now, I really want to love myself more.
I seriously don't want to be one of your selections.
After the terrible experiences in the past, I guess, this is the best choice.
We are friends.
And nothing more than this.