Sunday, June 10, 2018

One day and everything will be alright

Something puzzled me...
A weird version of me who i never encounter before.
What is that making me cry every time we go apart?

My feelings are confused...
Is that a yes or no? 
I like your caring and thoughtful mind, taking care of me like a true queen.
I like your "Queen Service Plan" the most! Where you surprise me every time you could. 
Being with you seems to be so fun, always. 
It's like 2 silly persons wandering around the world, making fools around.

I wanna know what are all these mean to you and me.
And yet, I am not desperately to find it out.
Enjoying every moment and memory with you that soon will lead us to where we suppose to be, 
I believe.

A little distance yet the hearts are so close.
A little blurry yet the mind is so clear.
A little fear yet the will to hold our hands is so strong.

One day, everything will fall into place. 
Until then, you will always find a place in my heart, my mind and my soul. 
Every day, every minute and every second.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Love will lead you the way

"Love will lead you the way", inspired by a friend of mine.

Fear of losing, fear of being hurt again and fear of uncertainty.
What should I do?

I am tired of keeping the hopes,
tired of pursuing someone who will break me in the end,
tired of being just a toy.
Can I love again?

Love should be easy, happy and affirmation.

Fear no more, love will lead you the way.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

A letter for Alex

Dear Alex,

How lucky I am to meet you. You are more than perfection to me. You impressed me with your charming smile and intelligence since our first date and every now and then. Talking to you is always a pleasure and I'm completely addicted to your humurous and cares.

I came from a heart-broken relationship that's full of lies and infidelity. And your honesty and sincerity, always taking care of me and make me a princess of yours, make you a Unicorn for me! The rarest species that I could find on this planet. In front of you, I feel so relax and relief. I never be so me in front of any other people but you bring out the real me and still accept me for who I am.

You never stop showering me your love and that moves me. Love should be easy, we said that before. Love should be worry-free, no hesitation, and no mind game. Communication is the key. I am glad I experience this journey with you.

That night, we both burst in tears. That was my first ever time seeing a guy cried in front of me. I guess we both know how much we appreciate each other. I wish we could have more time, to let me burying in your arms, kissing you over and over again. And then, I am the luckiest person in this world.

It's time to move on. Hey you know what, you will always be my greatest memories.

PS: I love you, my honey bee. xoxo

Monday, February 12, 2018

Tell me that's LOVE

What afraid me the most lately is...
I could never feel love again anymore.

Been single for a while.
Passionately and hopefully to finally meet the Mr. Right.

Options are always there, but would there be someone fits me well?

What I am afraid of is...
Nothing lasts, not even a longer while.

When feeling fades, time goes by,
will love still exists?

I love you, you love her, and she loves someone else.
Is there ever an equation where 0.5 + 0.5 = 1 ?

I am not rushing for any relationship, not a marriage, not even a family yet.
I am wishing a right guy, a true love and a perfect timing.

I need a promise that never break,
no matter what, no matter how.

Love me as I worth all of your affections and cares.
Take me as who I may.
And kiss me and hug me endlessly as tomorrow will never come.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

A man with story

I met a French guy last weekend.
It was a chilling and cloudy Saturday morning...

Over the brunch, he told me a story of him and his girlfriend.
He said, " I lost my girlfriend."
I thought he was broken up with his girlfriend lately. I thought this was what he wanted to bring out to me.
And then he continued, " She died few weeks ago due to cancer."

To me, from the first impression of him, he was like an ordinary playboy style young guy.
But from the way he told the saddest story, and the way he treated his girlfriend and how he came out from the ordinary French playboy to a more responsible and caring sweetheart,
honestly I am impressed.
And at the same time i felt terribly sorry for him and his girlfriend. They were meant for each other and yet they didn't make it to the last.

I was more than once questioning myself about love.
I was almost dropped the faith in love and stopped believing.
But what love is, to him, he made his own perfect love story.
It did not meant that they don't fight, he don't cheat.
But the loving heart that put them back together again and again,
and both they grown.

Their love story is fascinating.
His positive attitude after the death of his girlfriend is just amazing.

For a really long while I was drowned into the sadness of lost.
And he smiled to me, pat my head and said, "I'm okay."

That Saturday afternoon, I was really sad.
However, it was a memorable Saturday afternoon.
I learned to be tougher.
I learned to dance in the rain.

That Saturday afternoon, I met this young charming French guy - Adrian.
A man with a fascinating story.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

This is love, for sure

There are a lot of time I am questioning myself,
What is love?

Years after years, after all the people I met,
after all the experiences I have been go through...
It becomes clearer and clearer to me.
I know, there's always him, in my mind and in my heart.
And it's only him, the one who makes my heart skips a beat everytime we meet.
Nobody else.

Only him, who could bring me the most happiness I could never imagine.
Only be with him, I feel the safest.
And only to him, I could be just myself, telling him whatever it comes in my mind.

I love him, very very much.
Sadly, life doesn't always granted you what you want the most.
And I accept the fact the way it is.

Thank you T for showing me what the love is.
And I'll be loving you every single day till forever and ever.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

I Still Believe

5 months gone...
Again, time is flashing really fast.

I start over my new life,
a new life without him.
I start to meet new people, going out and doing stuff.
And everytime I test my feeling if it's real.
And everytime it fails me. The feeling, the heart beat, it just never happen again anymore...

I asked myself if there's something wrong about me?

And I dig in and dig in to find the truth and realise...
Except being more rationale, nothing else has changed me.
It's just the one, the right one is never appear again since then.

Aside the age I am carrying, I know it completely who are the one I am searching for.
The only one I am willing to risk everything again, just for him.
The only one that put me on the ride of the roller coaster again with all the bitter sweet moments.
And the only one whose hugs and kisses could melt my heart uncontrollably.

Even so...
I still believe.
Believing the fate and destiny will finally bring him to me.

Until then, I will be waiting patiently over here,
and dreaming...