Inspire and Be Inspired

Inspire others and being inspired.

I never thought I could be good enough to inspire other people, not even once. 

I always know that I am not good enough and that's why i always strive for the best I can.

And that's why I like to challenge myself.

Honestly, I was totally touched when my outward bound camp instructor (a nice guy from New Zealand) saying in front of everybody that I am the one who reminded him the true meaning of his job. 

He said, "perhaps I have too used to all the training programs I have for the participants and eventually I have forgotten the very important meaning behind every activities and every tasks given. Angeline has brought me to think it over again and suddenly, I find it back everything I used to remember last time. Thanks for making my day!" 

He smile at me and pat my shoulder. My eyes are filled with tears. I keep telling myself that I'll never cry in front of so many people. Luckily I didn't.

Seriously, I am very happy when I hear him saying this. He actually brings me back those confident that I used to have those days. He reminds me who I am those days.

As I have said, I really dislike the me right now...

A girl who is living her life surrounding a guy who she thinks is very important to her. Eventually, she lost herself. She forgets how proud she used to be, how confidents she is towards those who denies her. And now, she has putting herself so low in front of the guy she thinks she likes the most. But she gets in the end? Nothing. Not even a sympathy from this guy.

Boyd, my outward bound camp instructor, has shown me the girl I suppose to be. Yeap, a pround and confident girl like me, who never care about other people's perception towards me. I just don't care. A girl like me, I have no idea how and why I fall for this guy and it seems like never stop until this moment.

Should I say he is the lucky one? 

I think he even never knew that.

Well, my heart is getting tired with the scars. This time, I really wish I can walk away from him, from all this happiest memories that he has created for me. 

I wish I can do it and find back the real me, be the real me.

God bless!