I like you, but...

I meet a French charming guy lately...
I am attracted by his beautiful eyes, lovely smile, and those tiny little things he concerned.
He is very detailed, caring, helpful, honest and loving.
I like to be with him.
In his arm, I find secured.

I was warned by a friend about how French tackle girls and they seem to be never serious about a relationship.
I know it's definitely not all French are the same.
Deep inside my heart, I hope he would be the different one.

Perhaps I am a girl who has lost confident about relationship. (after the terrible depression)
3 months gone, and I am starting to lose confident in him.
I am thankful for his honesty by telling me that he is not looking for a committed relationship at the moment. (though I still hope that we could slowly develop one, not now but in the future, one day...)

However,
I see it clearly that I could never meet his standards, a girlfriend standard.
I am not sexy, not fun, and definitely not strong enough to tolerate the consequences due to his charming.
Rather, I choose to stay as who I am.
The normal one, stubborn, ego, playful but quiet at the same time.

I like him.
But I choose to love myself more.
I don't want to become a cheap girl. I have my pride and I am living it for the past 20 over years.
I have my vision towards my future, and my future family. I want to become who I want to be and I definitely do not want it to be interrupted.
Though it might mean a give up on him right now.

Mr. Tea, I like you and all the time we spend together.
It's a memory between you and me that I will cherish it forever.
But for now, I really want to love myself more.
I seriously don't want to be one of your selections.
After the terrible experiences in the past, I guess, this is the best choice.
We are friends.
And nothing more than this.

Be the Hero that lies in you

When you have seen the worst, there's nothing could destroy you anymore...
The 6 months of depression could be the darkest time in my lifetime,
But it is also a remarkable step that allows me to be a stronger person as who I am right now.

I understand very well that, no one could ever love you unconditionally except your parents.
And I understand perfectly that there's no helping hands without a reason behind.

And so, I learned...

Courage, of not afraid facing the cruel world all alone.
Though it could mean forever alone, but comparing to the broken-heart, living alone could mean happier.

Courage, of letting go those who would never meant to be yours.
Stop lying yourself that you are important to someone. If you could ever feel neglected and that is it.

Courage to say NO to those who are only taking advantages and never be sincere to a friendship or a relationship.
After all, they do not worth any of your time and effort.

Courage to forgive those whoever hurt you, cheat you or betray you.
Forgiving is beautiful, but they will never gain any trust from you anymore.

Courage to facing the failures.
This is a learning process, nothing to feel ashamed and it is totally normal to be failed.


Everyone has a hero living deep inside of you.
Tomorrow, when you wake up, touch your heart, look yourself into the mirror,
you will see a smiling hero.
Put aside those miserable yesterday and live up a better today and a wonderful tomorrow.

命运和幸运

命运是一种很奇妙的东西...
往往你以为的却偏偏来不及发生
而当你已放弃, 不奢望的时候,它又悄悄地, 不经意地实现了...

曾经懊恼, 不愿甘心败给了命运
几经挣扎却不得要领...
渐渐地也明白了"不强求"和"放下"
相信失去了才可以再拥有...

害怕失败的过去, 现在也勇敢地面对未来.
如果不曾失败,又怎能得到胜利?

幸福不难, 却难能可贵
珍惜幸福活着的每一天
曾经幸福过, 那也是一种幸运...


致远方的某人, 生日快乐!
致这里坚强快乐的我, 幸福万岁!

不完美命运里的，完美。

命运怎么总是喜欢为人决定一生？
那么的不经意，毫无准备的情况下，
却又偏偏那么美好，心动。

明明以为注定的那个人，却又慢慢渐行渐远。
而另一个人又在最不可能的时间点“蹦”了出来。

告诉自己，不可以轻易地再坠入这个爱情陷阱。
却又不小心，在他弹着吉他，唱着情歌的那霎那间，慢慢沦陷。

看清也明白，今生的命运不会那么平坦，
也已经接受了爱情路上所有的不完美。
可是，那么一个温柔的他，虽然不完美，却又不完美的那么迷人。
而那样的他，这样的我，如何自处？

小小的心灵也小心翼翼地许愿，
如果可以，请告诉我，这样的我也可以拥有这样的幸福。
长长久久，一生一世的幸福。

而他，那样的他，不完美得完美的他。
真心期许，我们正在交错的命运也可以在不完美中完美的延续下去。
就算爱得步步惊心，也愿意用一生的风景来交换一个有你的幸福，
直到永远，永远。

Angeline's Evolution

I am keeping my mind a little bit restless lately...

It's a beginning of another level of life I suppose.

I see myself evolving...

from asking who am I, what is this, and why 

to seeing clearly who I am and want to be.

Though I am still the friendly, lovely, kind but ego and stubborn Angeline as I used to be.

The restless mind is keep discovering, analysing, making decisions and then being determined and responsible for all the decisions made.

Though it's not as smooth as it's planned, but the bitter sweet mistakes are all well-appreciated.

I met a wrong guy, I made a wrong judgement and even I might have ruined a better future due to a wrong decision.

However, all and all of this do not resist me to keep going. I could be just fixing all the mistake to the best I can.

I see courage growing deep within me.

The wrong guy I met I could be just erasing from the friend's list, and perhaps keeping him out of my life.

The wrong judgement I made I could be just open up my heart to accept it once again.

The wrong decision I made I could be just keep going until the end. No one would ever know what's the ending story, as no one could ever tell if this is a wrong decision. It could be right when the timing is right.

And the most important thing is, I started to love myself even more.  

I miss you a little

Is it strange that I think I'm still missing you a little sometimes?
Just out of a sudden, in the middle of the day, someday...
U asked me to move on, and I am doing it every now and then.
I'm really trying very hard, I swear.

I'm not blaming you, neither anyone else.
However, it is a strange feeling growing deep within me...
To me, you are a face who I used to know but it becomes very strange to me right now.
Just like a stranger, a stranger who I loved...

Hey, how are you?
I have finished reading the book and I really wish to tell you how fascinating it is!
Have you finish the Easter Egg Chocolate that we got from a rabbit man that day?
How's work so far? Do you manage to catch up with your study schedule?
Do you still wake up in the middle of the night? I hope you sleep well though...

I miss every single message from you everyday.
I miss you to call me baby. You know you never fail to make me smile.
And I'll always miss the moment, the one last moment when we were saying goodbye,
your paled face...
You know, my tears were already filled my eyes and I was not even able to speak.
And the hug, the heart-breaking hug that I would never forget...
I never thought it was the one last hug...

I wonder why would I still missing you so bad?
Right now...
When I am writing this...
I couldn't help it but the tears just seem to be non-stop dropping.

Hey honey bee,
I am really missing you, just a little I promise.

Rich or Poor, is that a matter?

Just recently, a friend of mine told me that, "Perhaps I am the poorest guy you have ever met"...

I was a bit surprised when he said that cause I never have such a thought about him at all. Never. However, I was more worried that if I had mistakenly done something or said something that made him felt that way.

"Rich or Poor", is that really a matter?

Well, there's a big room of argument about this topic. However, for me, a man's success is not purely depending on how wealthy he is. No one can be forever rich, and therefore no one can be forever poor too. Perhaps, attitude and self-cultivation determine one's success.

At a glance of the current billionaires in the world, and it's not hard to find out that almost everyone of them are not those born with the golden-spoon. Their success today is not by Godsend. They are a group of extraordinary people who are willing to take the risk, time and the extra effort and of course, a flaming heart that never die. However, it's sadly to see that not many second generation actually inherited their parents success, and some of them even ruined their life in drugs and sexual activities.

If I have to be with someone, be it a friend or a life partner, I am more than happy to see him/her to have a strong personality. Someone I can talk to, learn from and share everything with.

There's a lot of things in the world that money can't buy. And therefore, they are the most valuable things. You can't bring your wealth into the graveyard and you only live once. So, why would you let your precious lifetime struggled around with how much money you earned? If you have a better choice to create those valuable memories that you could laugh off even until your last breath?

=)