Angeline's Evolution

I am keeping my mind a little bit restless lately...

It's a beginning of another level of life I suppose.

I see myself evolving...

from asking who am I, what is this, and why 

to seeing clearly who I am and want to be.

Though I am still the friendly, lovely, kind but ego and stubborn Angeline as I used to be.

The restless mind is keep discovering, analysing, making decisions and then being determined and responsible for all the decisions made.

Though it's not as smooth as it's planned, but the bitter sweet mistakes are all well-appreciated.

I met a wrong guy, I made a wrong judgement and even I might have ruined a better future due to a wrong decision.

However, all and all of this do not resist me to keep going. I could be just fixing all the mistake to the best I can.

I see courage growing deep within me.

The wrong guy I met I could be just erasing from the friend's list, and perhaps keeping him out of my life.

The wrong judgement I made I could be just open up my heart to accept it once again.

The wrong decision I made I could be just keep going until the end. No one would ever know what's the ending story, as no one could ever tell if this is a wrong decision. It could be right when the timing is right.

And the most important thing is, I started to love myself even more.  

I miss you a little

Is it strange that I think I'm still missing you a little sometimes?
Just out of a sudden, in the middle of the day, someday...
U asked me to move on, and I am doing it every now and then.
I'm really trying very hard, I swear.

I'm not blaming you, neither anyone else.
However, it is a strange feeling growing deep within me...
To me, you are a face who I used to know but it becomes very strange to me right now.
Just like a stranger, a stranger who I loved...

Hey, how are you?
I have finished reading the book and I really wish to tell you how fascinating it is!
Have you finish the Easter Egg Chocolate that we got from a rabbit man that day?
How's work so far? Do you manage to catch up with your study schedule?
Do you still wake up in the middle of the night? I hope you sleep well though...

I miss every single message from you everyday.
I miss you to call me baby. You know you never fail to make me smile.
And I'll always miss the moment, the one last moment when we were saying goodbye,
your paled face...
You know, my tears were already filled my eyes and I was not even able to speak.
And the hug, the heart-breaking hug that I would never forget...
I never thought it was the one last hug...

I wonder why would I still missing you so bad?
Right now...
When I am writing this...
I couldn't help it but the tears just seem to be non-stop dropping.

Hey honey bee,
I am really missing you, just a little I promise.

Rich or Poor, is that a matter?

Just recently, a friend of mine told me that, "Perhaps I am the poorest guy you have ever met"...

I was a bit surprised when he said that cause I never have such a thought about him at all. Never. However, I was more worried that if I had mistakenly done something or said something that made him felt that way.

"Rich or Poor", is that really a matter?

Well, there's a big room of argument about this topic. However, for me, a man's success is not purely depending on how wealthy he is. No one can be forever rich, and therefore no one can be forever poor too. Perhaps, attitude and self-cultivation determine one's success.

At a glance of the current billionaires in the world, and it's not hard to find out that almost everyone of them are not those born with the golden-spoon. Their success today is not by Godsend. They are a group of extraordinary people who are willing to take the risk, time and the extra effort and of course, a flaming heart that never die. However, it's sadly to see that not many second generation actually inherited their parents success, and some of them even ruined their life in drugs and sexual activities.

If I have to be with someone, be it a friend or a life partner, I am more than happy to see him/her to have a strong personality. Someone I can talk to, learn from and share everything with.

There's a lot of things in the world that money can't buy. And therefore, they are the most valuable things. You can't bring your wealth into the graveyard and you only live once. So, why would you let your precious lifetime struggled around with how much money you earned? If you have a better choice to create those valuable memories that you could laugh off even until your last breath?

=)

Like I Never Exist

When I look back, I wonder what is real?
The arms I held, the feelings or the memories?
It seems like someone is living in my mind, so close yet so far away.
Do I really know him?
If I do, why am I feeling so strange, so unfamiliar with the face I used to know?

I was being thrown away, just like how he threw away the sea shell in his hand as soon as he discovered a new one, a more beautiful one.

I am totally out of his life, like I never exist...

Would he ever think of me when he is walking on the road that we used to walk together before?

Would he ever think of me when he passes by the restaurant that we love to go?

Would he ever wonder how am I, where am I at some nights before sleep?

Does he still remember chocolates is my all-time-favourite?

Would he remember my name?

...............


I never exist in his life, like he never does in mine.
It was all just a dream, my dream.
When I open my eyes every morning, and he is gone.
And I start everything all over again...
It's another brand new day.

幸福的瞬间

那悄悄降临的幸福，如奇迹般发生了。
像璀璨的烟花，在寂静的夜空中无肆地绽放着。
很美，很美。

一颗受伤破碎了的心，以为不会再爱上任何人。
却在此刻遇见了奇迹般的烟花。
不知道在什么时候，破碎了的心在你细心的呵护下，慢慢地，一片片还原。
不知道从什么时候开始，你亲切的问候成为了我每天面对人生的勇气。
再困难的挑战，因为有你在，也就不再害怕。

两颗心跨越了整个印度洋，慢慢地靠近。。。

我的2015年，与你，在人群中拥吻，在无数的烟花见证下，梦幻般的开始。
你好似有魔力般，让每一次的相处都充满了幸福，温暖，还有满满的安全感。
蜜糖和巧克力，这世上还有什么比这两个东西的结合更为甜蜜？

那天晚上，你说爱我，你看不见我内心的宇宙已经围绕着整个太阳系翻转了几遍。
但是面对当时的你，我却无从表达我已经爆发的宇宙。欲言又止。
你知道吗？我害怕。害怕这样的幸福正在倒数。
多么希望时间就这样静止，我和你就可以像这样，永远都不要分开。

烟花再美都会陨落。
也许只有这些和你一起，所有我们幸福的瞬间，
在我有生的记忆里才可以变为永恒。

今年的生日，我向天空许一个愿。
如果时光可以倒流，请让我再次遇见你。
如果未来我们已经白发苍苍，请让我再遇见你，不说别的，只想问你一句，你好吗？

擦干眼泪，我要坚强起来。
没有你的保护，我要努力地走完我的人生。
不爱了。。。

Memory is a gift... Hello June!

The Imperfect Life

Since when I have started to accept the imperfection in life.
I'm glad I am mature enough right now to deal with all the imperfections, the failures and the sadness.

People come and go...
The happiest and the sweetest moments are never last forever, I understand.
The affection is just a shapeless thing, the feeling of love and attraction are the fundamental.
Most of the time, it comes without signal, so as when it's gone.

I feel terrible as I am always the first one to fall for and the last one to leave.

He said he would like to find only the right one.
Who's gonna be the right one? How to become the right one?
It seems to be a question without an answer.

I guess I have a sixth sense or something that I think I have predicted things happened recently.
And I guess that's why I live my every moment with him to the fullest.
And that's why the last moment with him before I left was so heart-breaking.
My tears dropped non-stoply along the way to the airport. And it was even worst when the plane had set-off.
I remembered the old lady sitting beside of me was so so dearly and friendly to me. I guess she felt my sadness too.

"Your happiness shouldn't depend on others." He told me that.
Yes, I fully agree and that's why I have done all the stupid things.

Dealing with the imperfections, it's like going through the life path, it happens all the while.
Persistent, strong-minded, optimistic, and a heart that never stop believing.

Hey, thanks for giving me the motivation, to become someone better than who I am right now,
In all aspects.

I hope, the next time when u see me (if we are still going to see each other), I'll be a different person, a better one I hope.