傻。爱。

爱真的能让人变傻。
从前的我从来都不相信。
现在却慢慢体会，慢慢明白，
爱让我变成了一个什么样，傻傻的人。

一个自负，高傲，什么都无所谓，不在乎的我，
现在居然难以置信地为了他，可以放弃身段，放弃自己的高傲，放弃了一切一切从前不可能放弃的事物。
从来都不计较回报，只要他的一个肯定的微笑，一句衷心的谢谢，或是一句温暖的问候，
多少的付出都变得值得。

为了他的一句话，我可以东奔西跑地搜索资料，甚至帮他打点一切大小事务 （就算他还未开口），帮他安排得妥妥当当，没有后顾之忧。

知道他的生日即将到来，两个星期前就四处奔走为他买他最喜欢的礼物，也为他策划一个浪漫温馨的生日。

知道热爱潜水的他喜欢大海，喜欢沙滩，为了他，我到处去搜集信息与他分享。

我的电话24小时都为他开着。一有信息，那份兴奋又期待的心情，却每次都失望。终于等到他的信息时，眼泪会激动得夺眶而出。

所有的，任何的事情，东西，只要和他有关，我都会想起他千遍万遍。大至他的相片，小至旁人的一个细微举动，都会让我陷入对他的思念海洋。尤其是夜里，常常想念他到不能入睡，甚至失眠。

原来，真正喜欢着一个人，以前多么在乎的东西，只要你的那个他可以开心，幸福，
多么在乎的东西也都变得无所谓了。多少的付出，委屈和辛苦也会随着他阳光般的笑容而化为乌有。

原来，我是真的真心喜欢他，就算知道未来的路有多么的艰辛，多么的坎坷。可是，如果他愿意，我会勇敢地和他一起走下去。

真的喜欢你，你知道吗？

也许，
这一辈子，
你也不会知道，
近在咫尺的我真正的心意与想法。

也许，
这一辈子，
我也不会告诉你，
那颗真正爱着你的心正在悄悄地哭泣。

也许，
这一辈子，
你也不会知道，
不论何时何地，任何时刻，我都无法停止想念你。

也许，
这一辈子，
我们慢慢渐行渐远，不会再有交集。

可是，
随着时间一天天地过。
三个月了，
我慢慢发现，慢慢确认。。。
我想，
我是真的真的喜欢你。

Something is missing

Finally, we have moved out from the house where we have been staying for the last 4 years.
A place full with memories...
A place where we grow up to become a better person...
A place where it accompanies us for all the good and bad moments...
A place where I will never forget.

Now, everything has changed.
The place to live, the place to work, the moment when heart to heart...
I know, nothing could turn it back.
That's what life all about.
Sometimes, there is something or someone which / who you cherish alot,
when the timing is past, it means past..
It's all over.
And you just can't help it, no matter how hard you try to sustain it.
It just didn't turned out to be the way you want it to be.

It's kinda sad.
In chinese, there is a phrase saying that "有遗憾的人生才能体现生活的美丽".
It means, only an imperfect life could lead us to experience the true beauty of living.
I guess this is the only faith I have to keep me stronger, to keep me moving forward.

Love, happiness.... Will it be possible to me?
I don't know.
At least, I know it is quite impossible for me at the moment.
Sometimes, I am wondering, what if I never met you, I will not be so disappointed to my life as what I am right now.
However, sometimes, I am still thanking God to bring you into my life.
Because, if it is not you, I will never know how much I could sacrifice for loving you,
and what is the best way to love you.
I guess, the best way to love you is letting you go...
Go for your very own happiness, go for your dreams, and go for whatever you wanna do in this life.

And I,
I will be here, wishing you all the best, seeing you succeed someday...
And until that day, I will be really happy for you, even we are never being together.

Something is missing, something has changed,
but thanks God, it has been once passing through my life,
And I can still remember every single moment just like it was happened yesterday.

I'll Love You Still

I've been thinking it over and over again these days.
The memories between us, good and bad, keep appearing in my mind, non-stoply.
There was once I am really nearly to give up.
And there was once I wanna walk to your front and tell you how I feel.

Sometimes, I think I am crazy cos what I am doing right now is definitely not the me from the past who would be able to do it.
I think, I am deeply, madly falling in love with you.
I wanna share with you everything I know, everything I have,
and every moment of happiness and sadness.
I want you to know my everything just like I wanna know everything of you.

I know there's alot of differences and alot of obstacles between us.
But I wanna tell you now, I will never be afraid.
There's a voice from my heart telling me my true feelings.
I know, I have met someone who I wanna spend my rest of the life with.

Love is so amazing.
It comes unconsciously and suddenly.
I never be so sure about my feelings of love.
Just like I never met someone like you.

I am not sure if there's one fine day you will be able to read this.
And I am not sure if there is a happy ending between us.
But there's one thing for sure, I wanna tell you how much I love you.
It's more than I can imagine.
I will love you still even it takes years for you to know about it.
And I will love you still until one day it is impossible for us to make it.

Yes, this is a love letter for you. And you will know who you are.

人生苦短，但是爱原来可以很长，很久

每一个人出生后都坐bb 车，
小孩子踩单车，
长大后坐私家车，
老了总会需要坐救护车，
到了人生的最后时刻坐的就是黑箱车。

每一个人从出生的那一刻就已经知道注定有两腿一伸的时候。
人生真的很短。
但是，我真的希望在这短短的人生里，我可以对你说，我真的爱过你。。。

＊看着《On Call 36小时》的霎时感触。

勇敢去爱

很多时候，我往往因为太在意别人看我的眼光，太在意别人对我的评价，
当幸福靠近时，我却止步，不敢往前跨步。
很多时候，因为我的胆小懦弱，我后悔了。后悔没有积极争取，没有适时地表达自己最真的想法，也没有向对方坦诚。
当错过了，一切已经太迟。

人生没有take 2，幸福也许只有一次。
我想，此时此刻的我想通了。
在爱情里，我一直是胆小鬼，一直渴望别人付出，而自己坐收渔翁之利。
现在，我想大声呼喊，“我绝对不会再像以前一样”！
现在的我想做一个敢爱敢恨，勇敢追求自己幸福的女孩。
我不会再在意别人对我的眼光，因为我必须对自己负责，对自己坦诚。
哪怕，积极争取后的结果是那么的不如人愿，那又如何？
至少，我没有后悔。我做了我分内应该做的事。结果如何，已经不在我的控制范围。

现在的我只想勇敢去爱！
当我献出我的真心，我的关怀，企求的不一定是你的回应，
因为我只要你知道，我是真的喜欢你！
那样真的已经足够。

When everything gets back to normal

After a series of memorable events in the month of June 2012, the good ones and bad ones, everything gets back to its original track. Yea, it's June, one of my favourite month of the year after December (the Christmas month, of course). I would like to say thanks to my dearly friends and colleagues for such a wonderful celebration for my birthday this year. I really really had a good time with you all and the celebration is awesome! Thank you. Of course, not to forget a friend of mine who brought me to Pulau Tioman for my very first experience of Scuba Diving. It's superb and I swear I wanna get myself to be a certified diver real soon! Stay tune... =)

Well, today is 3rd July 2012, another unbreathable busy day. Rush in and out for appointments and come back with a "mountain" of works on the desk waited to be done. No matter how, I know I can make it! It's a kind of motivation for me (reverse thinking). Yea, I am totally good with it.

So, everything has back to normal. Jiayou Angeline! You know you can make it no matter how many challenges lie ahead. Jiayou jiayou jiayou!! =)